4 months in fact. And 6 months since I came home.
It's been a trying, challenging, hard 6 months. But 6 months of growth all the same.
When I came home from my mission it honestly felt like everything had just fallen apart. I felt like It seemed I'd hit the bottom. I soon found that that moment was yet to come. It was in December I reached my lowest and felt I could go no further, and in that moment I could have so easily have given up. I have never felt so much anger, betrayal, hatred and bitterness at once!
In that moment of complete darkness instead of giving up I found myself on my knees, praying so desperately for some peace because I knew Heavenly Father would help me through it, even if I didn't want to make it through myself. I needed a glimmer of hope, something to take the pain away.
He once again reached out and touched my heart. He understood how I felt, He understood what I was going through and He would help me through it. I turned to the scriptures and found one of my now favourite scriptures. It was found in Doctrine and Covenants 112:13 ;
'And after their temptations, and much tribulation, behold, I, the Lord, will feel after them, and if they harden not their hearts, and stiffen not their necks against me, they shall be converted, and I will heal them.'
It was beautiful. And although the pain did not go away straight away, it felt easier to bare knowing that in time I would be healed by the Lord; for He does not lie and cannot lie.
Over the weekend we have been blessed to have General Conference. Before conference I had been praying to be able to draw closer to my Saviour, Jesus Christ, and was truly grateful to hear the words of our dear Prophet and Apostles this past weekend. The testimonies of these truly great men, their Faith in the Lord, Jesus Christ are undeniable, and their strength and incredible examples inspiring.
It was exactly what I needed to hear. So many of the talks testifying of Jesus Christ and His love for us. So much wisdom and knowledge I wish I had, shared with us so that we can learn more of Him;
- Fear will be dispelled with faith in Jesus Christ. - Elder Bednar
- No one is predestined to receive less than all that the Father has for His Children.
- "Twas I. But Tis not I." (I may have been that person, but because of the Atonement of Jesus Christ I am no longer that person) - Elder Renlund
- The more we understand the extraordinary role of Christ in our lives, the more conscious we become of our purpose. - Elder Teixeira
- Never tire of discovering or rediscovering the truths of this gospel. - Elder Causse
- We cannot earn our way into heaven - President Uchtdorf
- With the gift of God's grace the path of discipleship does not lead backwards, it leads upwards - President Uchtdorf
I was actually taken back to my childhood. My favourite hymn to sing in primary was always 'I feel my Saviour's Love' I realised that I was beginning to feel how I once did as I reflected on those words in that sacred hymn;
I feel my Savior's love
In all the world around me.
His Spirit warms my soul
Through ev'rything I see.
I feel my Savior's love;
Its gentleness enfolds me,
And when I kneel to pray,
My heart is filled with peace.
I feel my Savior's love
And know that he will bless me.
I offer him my heart;
My shepherd he will be.
He knows I will follow him;
Give all my life to him.
I feel my Savior's love,
The love he freely gives me.
I offer Him my heart, and I do! This hymn explains exactly how I feel right now! This conference I was able to regain the understanding I had as a child. To accept that through His atonement and resurrection we CAN live with Him, and our Heavenly Father after this life. That yes, there will always be challenges in his life, but we are able to overcome them ALL because of His sacrifice. We have no need to fear. As we seek to learn more of Him, as was said in conference our purpose in this life will become more clear. I know that as I continue to strive to follow Him He will guide me, just as He has my whole life; and will continue to do throughout my life as I follow His perfect example. My heart is full. My Saviour will be my guide! #BecauseHeLives <3
I shall leave you with a quote that I just love!
'Commune with the Lord. He is your best friend! He knows your pain because He has felt it for you already. He is ready to carry that burden. Trust Him enough to place it at His feet and allow Him to carry it for you. Then you have your anguish replaced with His peace, in the very depths of your soul...'
