Weaknesses. They can be overcome.

I am a very strong believer that you can work through absolutely anything. Just keep working and it'll all work out in the end. Rest? Slow down? Why? That would just be wasting time and wouldn't be able to do anything useful. It would help no-one to stop working?!

Again, President Ezra Taft Benson's quote would always come to mind. (Page 121 PMG. Diligence)

I have often said one of the greatest secrets of missionary work is work! If a missionary works, he will get the Spirit; if he gets the Spirit he will teach by the Spirit; and if he teaches by the Spirit, he will touch the hearts of the people and he will be happy. There will be no homesickness, no worrying about families, for all time and talents and interest are centered on the work of the ministry. Work, work, work - there is no satisfactory substitute, especially in missionary work. 

However, I also see it as my prime downfall on my mission. I couldn't relax or turn off. Much like normal I guess, but worse, as on a mission you always have something you can be doing of value, which I loved! As I have also read many times Doctrine and Covenants 10:4

Do not run faster or labour more than you have strength and means provided to enable you...

It just seems too hard to find a balance. Why would I want to, one option is to work, the other is to be lazy? There is nothing more to it! Not exactly. There are so many times in the mission I felt like I was being to slow down and take care of myself, I just didn't really want to listen because there was more important work to be doing! Keep working and it'll be fine, right?

There was always a long list in my mind of things that needed to be done, things that we had forgotten to do, things that we could do. We still needed to call that former, or we needed to go back and see that potential who lived on such and such street, and what would we teach them next?! I think it drove my companions a little crazy.

No matter how much I worked I could never do it well enough!

What was I doing right?! Am I doing anything right at all?! Am I really helping anyone here?!

God gives us clarity, but never doubts...

I couldn't really get my head around that. I didn't understand it. But I do now. I see it now. That is all that matters. He will show us what we need to change, how we can improve, lead us in the way we will become our best selves. He won't dwell on the things we've done wrong, or the things that we feel failed. We just pick ourselves up where ever we are, ask for His help, always. Follow the counsel given. He doesn't want us to hate ourselves, He see's the best in us, He see's our potential, He knows all we can achieve in this life. We need to put our trust in Him, and in so doing trust in ourselves, that we will do all that our Father in Heaven wants us to do as we allow Him to guide our lives.

He often shows us, with clarity, what we need to improve. As it says in that well known scripture. Ether 12:27-28

And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness, I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them.

Behold, I will show unto the gentiles their weakness, and I will show unto them that faith, hope and charity bringeth unto me - the fountain of all righteousness. 

I remember sharing this scripture with one of our investigators. We'd been teaching him for quite a while at this point and he was just about to drop us. We had no idea why, we were just about to teach him the Gospel of Jesus Christ again. Me and my companion stood slightly stunned for a second, unsure of what to do. Just before he closed the door I felt strongly I should testify of Heavenly Father's love and how he doesn't expect perfection from us, we shared this scripture with him. It was such a spiritually strong lesson. Afterwards we found out one of his friends had been telling him all about how God said that once we were baptized we needed to be perfect, we couldn't make mistakes after that or else we would be lost. We were able to help him understand that that was not true. We are all human, all liable to making the same silly mistakes, yet through His grace and the atonement we can overcome them. We can become stronger.

I don't think I even understood it then. I mean, I knew the scripture, and I understood what it meant, but I don't think it had sunk in. We are not expected to be perfect. We do what we can and He WILL help with the rest as we turn to Him sincerly and humbly seeking, believing that He knows what we need to learn and when so that we can reach our potential.

Doctrine and Covenants 6:8

Verily, verily, I say unto you, even as you desire of my so it shall be done unto you; and if you desire, you shall be the means of doing much good in this generation

As we find peace with ourselves, knowing that we are striving to do our best and we just desire to do the right thing, we will have help far beyond our own in everything we do. That balance will be easier to find. Knowing that yes, He wants us to work, but He also wants us to take care of ourselves, do things we enjoy, take time to relax and enjoy the small things around us. He loves us, He wants us to be happy, and when we find that true happiness share it with those around us. 

Although it's a hard habit to change, it's getting easier to see the things I'm doing in a good way, rather then constantly pulling myself down over every little thing. I still need to work on finding that balance, but I feel I am getting there. He is definitely helping me. And I still feel as though I have no regrets from my mission. I tried to work hard, I tried to do my best. We made so many friendships, saw so many miracles, it shall forever be the best months of my life. I look forward to going back, being more positive and continuing the Lord's work.

By celebrating what's right we find the energy to fix what's wrong - Dewitt Jones