My Time in Salt Lake and the MTC

I was extremely blessed to be able to spend 3 days in Salt Lake before I actually had to enter the MTC. Great time to adjust, see a little of the area and spend some time with the wonderful Carli Christensen! It was great to be able to spend time with her. Carli was a wonderful sister missionary who served in Jersey back in 2011. I only really got to know her a few weeks before I moved to Bournemouth/Poole, but we kept in contact through email for the rest of her mission. She inspired me so much, she inspired me to change and become a better person and I knew she loved me for who I was. She is so full of life, and she was such a great example. I would always be excited to come back to Jersey to see the sister missionaries and to go out with them, not that we taught many lessons, we get stood up too much. ;) 

While I was in Utah I got to see life in the eyes of a normal utah'd. I went to UVU for the day. Definitely an interesting experience. Sure felt weird to be walking around the university with my missionary badge on and all, sitting in the classrooms with Carli, as obviously I couldn't leave her, being my escort. We went into one class, sat down expecting to be completely invisible and stay out of focus. Turns out they had a rule. Any visitors in the class are expected to answer a challenge of some sort. State 3 things you want people to know about you and 3 things you wouldn't want people to know about you. At first I was thinking 'Oh yeah, that's funny...Your being serious?!' Great. *Mind blank. Can I hide yet?!*

In the evening we had the wonderful opportunity of going to see the Christmas Lights in Salt Lake. It was beautiful! Cold, but worth it! It was with Carli and her mum. I loved it. It was such a relaxing evening to have just before heading to the MTC. The truly go all out in the decorations! I especially loved the...not sure what you call the water thing...but I love the gold things that were floating around in it, around the statue of Jesus' Birth in front of the Salt Lake Temple. Delightful! I love this family, and wish I could have spent a little more time with them, however, back to the mission!

The beautiful Salt Lake Temple at Christmas time!

MTC was a LOT different then I was expecting. I'm going to be honest, I did not enjoy it! I mean, it wasn't awful, but it is the only part of my mission I would not want to relive. It drove me crazy. Sitting down all day, listening, planning, watching clips...ugh. I was wished to be anywhere but there, and then went on to feel guilty for feeling that way. I should be enjoying it, right?

Carli Christensen dropping me off at the MTC! Woohoo...

 I'd already been out in the mission field a month. Why did I have to come here and learn how to do what I had been learning how to do in the field? By the end of the 2 weeks it felt like the life was being sucked out of me! Nothing was more exciting then being able to leave. And yet, everyone else seemed to love it. Am I doing something wrong? Why is everyone finding this extremely enjoyable? MTC felt like how I would imagine a prison to be. 

One thing that was fairly enjoyable was the food. Grief. I have never eaten and, hopefully, never will eat as much as I did at that time again. Pretty much ate my boredom away! Starting with Lucky Charms for breakfast! Gosh I miss those. If any of my American friends would want to send me an early Christmas Present I would be most grateful ;) Lunch and dinner would consist 2 platefuls of what ever was going! Sweet potato fries, chips, burgers...yep. My diet was awful. I only had a salad wrap once! I'd always go up for desert, pick the chocolate option, take a bite and realize it was the american stuff. Broke my heart every day! Although, not the most disgusting thing I ate while I was there. The prize for that would have to go towards the 'Blueberry and Sausage Pancake' So gross. Only Americans...

In addition to the food I also really enjoyed the weekly devotionals. In my 2 weeks there I had the pleasure of hearing from Elder Ronald A Rasband of the seventy, and Elder David A Bednar, of the 12 Apostles. Elder Ronald A Rasband spoke on my first night at the MTC. Tuesday the 17th of November. The talk he gave was all about spiritual gifts, how we can use them to help those around us once we recognize those which we posses ourselves. I don't remember too much about the talk to be frank. I was too busy looking up the scriptures he had been mentioning. Before he closed he challenged us to think about the gifts we thought we possessed, to write them down and also write down one we would like to improve. My mind was blank. What spiritual gift do I have?! None. I don't deserve to have one. The only thing I could really think of was my desire to help others and I wasn't sure if that counted. 

So next question. What would I like to improve. Slightly easier!  I desired to know that Heavenly Father loved me, that I was His daughter. I wrote in my journal 'I know he loves everyone else but for some reason I think, why would He love me? Yet I have been blessed with so much in my life. All I have ever needed, or could want. My family, friends, the gospel, opportunities to learn and grow. Yet somehow I still doubt' 

Next to that I had written a wonderful and well known quote from President Uchtdorf. 

'Doubt your doubts before you doubt your faith' 

Easier said then done. We read many times in the scriptures that doubt withholds blessings from us, it stops us from really gaining that knowledge, if we just believed we would know. But how, how do we just allow ourselves to believe? What causes us to simply just cast the doubts away?